A big shout out to Dan Shere who wrote this, one of my favorite shorts. Enjoy.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
From a recent post on her Myspace blog in response to a pissed off "fan." -
"I may have won 19 awards that you don't feel I earned, but it's neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you're not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren't we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let's go bitch about how Black Kids are overrated!)
I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and— with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the shit out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.
(Incidentally, if you were me for one day you'd crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you. You're not strong enough, Film_Fan78. Trust me.)
I'm sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.
I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't."
Amazing, except she failed to address one thing. Who the fuck still uses Myspace?
As well as losing his hair, Jude Law is fast losing his credibility.
Rumours are that he's been cast as Watson, Sherlock Holmes' sidekick in Guy Ritchie's new movie starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes
With several of his latest films barely hitting theaters or going straight to DVD, I think it's official: Jude Law is definitely on the B-List.
It's interesting to see his career compared to Robert Downey Jr.'s. Who would have thought four years ago that Jude Law would be RDJ's sidekick??
He shouldn't have fucked his nanny. People care.
One of my favorites of all time because isn't it oh so true...
"When I remember that dizzy summer, that dull, stupid, lovely, dire summer, it seems that in those days I ate my lunches, smelled another's skin, noticed a shade of yellow, even simply sat, with greater lust and hopefulness—and that I lusted with greater faith, hoped with greater abandon. The people I loved were celebrities, surrounded by rumor and fanfare; the places I sat with them, movie lots and monuments. No doubt all of this is not true remembrance but the ruinous work of nostalgia, which obliterates the past, and no doubt, as usual, I have exaggerated everything."
P.S. Fuck Jon Foster. Max Minghella IS Art Bechstein