Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This is why I hate Entertainment Weekly

Remember when I posted about how EW gave Slumdog Millionaire a B- and said it was awful and ennobled poverty and a bunch of other really weird shit back in November?

Well, in their infinite wisdom they've decided to give the DVD an A-. Can somebody explain that to me please?

Entertainment Weekly is nothing but a backwards barometer for pop culture. Instead of a magazine that finds the few good things that slip through the cracks and try to promote them, they so coward they have to wait for validation before they stick their necks out and promote something.

They went the opposite way as everyone else on Slumdog. I didn't agree with them but that's fine - all we have is our opinions. The least we can do is stick to them.

Monday, March 30, 2009

1. Friday Night Lights

It's perfect. Everything about it's perfect.

Not only the best show on TV, it's one of the best stories ever put on film.

Friday Night Lights is uniquely American and a true masterpiece.


This is an awesome article from Defamer:

The MPAA's "no homo" rule strikes again! Sascha Baron Cohen's new mockumentary Bruno, in which he terrorizes straight men with flagrant gayness, has earned an NC-17, partly because of a scene depicting buttsex.

The Wrap reports that the film—in which Baron Cohen plays gay Austrian fashion correspondent Bruno who talks about doing ickies with other men—got the basically-banned-from-theaters rating because, in part, the character "appears to have anal sex with a man on camera. In another, the actor goes on a hunting trip and sneaks naked into the tent of one of the fellow hunters, an unsuspecting non-actor."

Baron Cohen's previous outing with Universal, Borat, initially earned an NC-17 as well, but was re-edited and got its coveted R. That film had a famous naked men wrestling sequence, though it wasn't as overtly homocentric as Bruno butt fucking or going on a talk show to discuss same-sex parenting, adopted black baby in tow. The notoriously homo and dick-phobic ratings board just can't abide that. Baron Cohen has appealed and the film will go back to the editing room to try and come up with a more palatable version.

Meanwhile the gratuitous tits of a movie not trying to say anything at all except "Straight men! Whoo!" like the abysmal College sail comfortably under the radar. Boys will be boys, not do them.

This movie is going to be hilarious.

Friday, March 27, 2009


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are

Pretty badass trailer, actually.

Neverending Story for a new generation?

Friday, March 20, 2009

No, this poster's not a joke

I'm not sure what's worse - Robert Pattinson's moustache or the tagline.

I hope all the rapid Twilight fans out there enjoy Edward Cullen looking like a pedophilic Adolph Hitler.

And straight to DVD!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

2. Skins

I love this show. I love everything about it. The characters, the soundtrack, the location, the casting, the emotion, the realness.

It's fucking brilliant. It does everything right.

It's about the pains and joys of being young, a time when your friends are everything because they're all that you've got.

It also stands as a testament to everything that is wrong with American television and morality.

You owe it to yourself to watch this show.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

From Dropkick Murphy's, the great Irish poets:

I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid.

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home

So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

Monday, March 16, 2009

KINGS, again

A post about KINGS I found on Defamer. Contrary to me earlier derogatory post, I guess I kind of agree with this. I at least admire the show for being ambitious, even if it is misguided, heavy-handed and in places very poorly executed.

"If you felt a rush of orange light, pretty boys and butterflies last night, it wasn't spring knocking at your door. It was NBC's Kings, which despite its turgid premiere is a show worth saving.

For all of its pomp, circumstance, and instances of silly dialogue, it was a strangely enjoyable and beguiling two hours of pseudo-religious Bible retelling.

It's the story of King David, who defeated Goliath in battle and rose to precarious prominence in a kingdom where the rightful heir to the throne was a mincing gay fop named Jonathan. Jon is Jack in this reimagining, David is, well, David, a tawny farm boy who rescues Jack in battle by standing up to one of the enemy's Goliath tanks. He's celebrated as a hero by the people, and used as a pro-military PR tool by the scheming, conflicted King Silas (the terrific, scenery-devouring Ian McShane). So David heads to the capital city, Shiloh (a thinly-disguised New York—the Time Warner Center features prominently), and wide-eyes his way through all the fanfare—falling for the lovely politically-minded princess, enraging the jealous prince, and eventually staging a dramatic, gorgeously staged truce between his kingdom, Gilboa, and their bitter enemies, Gath.

The production values were outta sight (though, I doubt NBC can sustain that), the acting was solid (especially McShane and Susanna Thompson as his icy bride), and the whole alternate-reality conceit was respectably ambitious for network television. It's sort of a more Earth-bound, less intelligent Battlestar Galactica, with all its talk of religion and scheming, souring political machinations. Plus the people are pretty, swathed as they are in lush cinematography and slo-mo sequences of warfare and crown-bestowing butterflies.

The all-important gay stuff is causing quite a stir. You see, Prince Jack is both a lazy nogoodnik and a homosexualist, as we discover when he is viciously outed to us by his shamed papa (see clip). And isn't it a bit regressive and cruel to paint the only gay character as a jealous, petty, sneaky, cowardly little whiner? Plus, David and Jonathan totally did it in the Bible (see items 10-14), so why can't the show be true to that?

So it's a shame that a paltry six million people tuned in last night. Let's hope that NBC gives it a few more chances. We need shows that are this original and ambitious—as Battlestar winds down, as Lost plans to leave us in a year's time—even if they're a bit overheated and laughably melodramatic at times (see the Butterfly Crowning, all the way up top). I suggest you give it a watch."

Nicolas Cage on Knowing

Nicolas Cage promoting his new movie KNOWING on Ryan Seacrest this morning.

RYAN: So, Nic, what do you think your best role to date has been?

NIC CAGE: You know Ryan, I really think it's this roll in Knowing. It's just really relevant.

I hate Nic Cage.


The alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who daily knelt beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned.

At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus. But this was not how the author of the book ended the story. He said that when Narcissus died, the Goddesses of the Forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

"Why do you weep?" the Goddesses asked.

"I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.

"Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they said, "for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."

"But..... was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.

"Who better than you to know that?" the Goddesses said in wonder, "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!!"

The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:

"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."


I had really high expectations for this show and man were they crushed last night.

"If you want to be king you can't be as God made you!"

There were a million awful scenes and shit that just didn't make sense, and I think it fitting that the pilot concluded with the worst scene of all - a crown of butterflies on Chris Egan's head.



Friday, March 13, 2009

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

I'm not saying the book is a masterpiece, but there are certainly scenes in it that are masterpieces.

From the look of the trailer, it looks like it has stripped all of the heart, the poignancy from what made the flawed novel incredibly memorable if not nothing short of remarkable for a debut.

Call me a cynic, but I don't have high hopes for Rawson Marshall Thurber, last seen directing Dodgeball, being able to adapt the lyricism of Chabon.

Time will tell.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

3. Freaks and Geeks

All of the awkward moments from adolescence that you thought you'd forgot. Now you can relive them and it's hilarious.

This foray into the life of two teenagers from the Detroit suburbs was Judd Apatow's first big venture in the industry and it's still, for my money, his best.

Watch it, enjoy it, get pissed that it got canceled after it's first season.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Tor

Friday, March 6, 2009

Didn't see this coming...

Keira Knightley has basically relegated herself to doing period pieces for some strange reason, and in a sordid, blatantly obviously attempt to try to throw a curveball at us comes THE EDGE OF LOVE.

Check out the trailer - it's a period piece, but (gasp!) she goes lesbian!

Can you smell the desperation?

I think Keira has officially hit the B list...

How trashy is Miley Cyrus?

She jogs in cutoff jeans.

Great Pictures From Around the World...

I've been thinking recently about how much I fucking love Harry Potter and miss it.

I'm ready for the next epic story of my lifetime.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

How Dev Patel saved the Oscars

He makes you believe.

Seeing him and the rest of the Slumdog Millionaire team at the Oscars and how excited they were, how genuinely happy they all were to be there, moved me as much as the film did.

Screw all the Hollywood politics, people that think they're entitled or owed something, people that are arrogant because they're insecure and can be. Dev Patel and Slumdog Millionaire is everything that's great about the industry.

More so even than the movies, they make you want to believe.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Quote of the day...

"Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back."

— Heraclitus

Sunday, March 1, 2009